Monsters
by m1ss-Cheshire Cat
Summary: Loki always believed himself to be a monster. What if that wasn't the case? What if, when observing Dr Banner, he realised...he could change? Post-Avengers
1. Chapter 1

**Not** **really sure about this story; i was bored and it kinda just came to me. At the moment i'm debating whether or not to leave its as a one shot- let me know what you think.**

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They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is a lie; Ugly things are ugly, regardless of who looks at them, just as truly beautiful things are beautiful. The same goes for monsters. Monsters are monsters, regardless of who's looking. A monster is what Loki saw whenever he looked into a mirror-A monster, hidden in the form of a man. And no one can love a monster- why would they? There is nothing to love. Thor was in denial; once he realised his brothers true nature, he would leave him to stew in his own anger and hatred, thanking the world he had at last come to his senses.

Or at least that is what Loki thought- what had been burned into him by Thanos, and what he had secretly believed once he'd learned he was jotunn. And he had decided to act accordingly. Monsters live to destroy and cause chaos- to bring fear and loathing to those who see them. And that's what he'd done. He only began to doubt that notion when he met Dr Banner.

At first he appeared to be a timid man, calm and nervous, bordering on anti social. Yet behind the quiet facade lay a breathtaking beast of fury and power- a monster. Yet people didn't treat him as such. Certainly, some ran away in fear from his other form, but not all. Watching the earth from his cell deep below Asguard, he noted curiously that Dr Banner continuously defied the laws that defined Loki and his actions. Loki believed that the only way of existence for a monster was solitude and evil- yet here was Dr Banner, becoming friends with the other Avengers and trying his hardest to help and be good.

His actions puzzled Loki, who sat for many hours trying to solve the enigma as he watched him closely through his conjured looking glass. It wasn't until his sentence was passed; banishment from Asguard, and forced servitude under the Avengers, with death being the consequence if he resisted, that the smallest tendril of a thought snaked its way into his head- maybe monsters didn't have to be feared.

This small notion, which Loki didn't dare believe to be true, had him sitting, stunned as the court finished around him. He was too wrapped up in his thoughts to even notice and resist when spells were cast upon him that would prevent him from returning to Asguard, and his magic was bound to an amulet.

He briefly focused in again to hear Odin state to the members of the court that only the person wearing the amulet would be able to grant or remove Loki's access to his magic- otherwise, he would remain without it. Realising what his sentence was, he paid more attention and was tempted to argue- before he realised that however humiliating it would be, it would at least allow him to keep a closer eye on Banner and figure out if his revelation was possibly- impossibly- true. As he was taken to the mended Bifrost with Thor and several palace guards, he wondered what it would mean for him if it were true- after all, even if some monsters could escape their fate, it didn't mean all could. And he was more monstrous than most.

The looks on the Avengers faces were far from pleased- Dr Banner and Rodgers looked at him wearily, whilst distrust and suspicion was evident on the faces of Romanov and Stark. Barton meanwhile, glared at him with undisguised loathing. They reluctantly let him in when they learnt that Thor would stay to keep an eye on him and the amulet limited his power. Stepping into the tower, Loki began his observations.

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**So... thoughts? continue it or leave it? As always, reviews gain you my eternal gratitude,xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**So the general consensus was to continue the story- so here is chapter 2. Admittedly, the first one was better, but this chapter provides the opening for Dr Banner and Loki to talk. Any suggestions/ ideas on where the plot should go are welcome, as are (naturally) any and all reviews. Thankyou to BeastRage the Hunter for reviewing :) Hope you enjoy this chapter.x**

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At first, to Loki's displeasure, there was hardly a moment to even see Dr Banner, let alone watch him or question him about his choices and beliefs. He was constantly down in his lab, where Loki had been forbidden to go.

To his anger, he had also been forbidden to talk at all. Thor had told them about his skill with words and they had decided to take precautions. It was highly unnecessary- there was no point in attempting to convince them of anything, because there was nothing they could give him that he wanted. They had no power to remove his banishment from Asguard. Loki wasn't even sure he would want them to. He didn't need his magic either- he was currently living with the enemy, and escape would mean certain death if he was found. It just wasn't worth the effort.

He had been forced to complete menial tasks- cleaning the floors and dishes by hand, cooking for the team, fetching whatever they wanted and generally acting like a lapdog. He wasn't overly upset about his situation though. Humiliation only hurt those who were proud, and Loki was not proud-certainly he acted it, crafted every action and emotion carefully so that others believed him to be, but he never once believed the lie himself. His actions were nothing to be proud of. They were necessary, in order to follow the rules that fate handed to him. Monsters weren't proud- their actions were a result of anger and obligation, not a misguided attempt at receiving praise.

If anything, he was surprised at the mildness of his punishment -he had expected them to take revenge in blood, to torture him for his crimes. It would have been what he deserved. Barton, at least, was favourable of this method. He had told him as much. Loki knew it was only Rogers's distaste of violence and his fear of Thor that prevented him from torturing him himself. He wasn't too concerned about Barton's wishes- the Chitauri had harmed him far worse than a mortal ever could.

Besides, physical pain was temporary, and would fade after a time. It could be ignored, or treated with medication. Emotional pain was far worse. It lingered constantly, always playing at the back of the mind. It remained constant, and there was no way to ignore it- Loki knew how much it ate away at a person's sanity and willpower. There was no way to escape it. He had tried to so many times before.

His days passed in a haze of boredom, the constant question niggling in the back of his mind. He longed for an answer - the continuous arguments, worries and emotional turmoil left him feeling drained and exhausted.

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After over a month of residing at Starks tower, answering to the teams every whim that the chance finally arose for him to speak to the man who could answer his question.

The team had been called out to deal with a situation. Amora, his arch-enemy had apparently decided to take his place as earth's super villain, and was currently attempting to cause chaos in New York. Loki smirked as he watched the event on T.V. He had been forbidden from meddling with anything whilst they were out, but they hadn't mentioned what he should do instead. Loki had decided to relax for a while, relishing in the freedom of being alone and the chance to take his mind off his thoughts.

The 'enchantress' was certainly no equal of his, however much she claimed to be. Her methods of attack were inelegant and graceless, and it was clear her only plan was to cause as much chaos as possible. A five year old could do better.

As it was, the Avengers had nearly finished her off. Her hastily conjured army of fire elementals had been destroyed, and the Avengers were quickly closing in. Realising the danger, she conjured a shimmering cage around the Hulk, before flinging him out to the sea and vanishing in a puff of purple smoke. Loki watched amusedly as the other Avengers attempted to rescue him, only to be repelled by a force field covering the ocean.

A sudden thought hit Loki like a stone; if the Hulk died, so did Dr Banner and he would be forever stuck in limbo, not knowing if the nature of a monster could be changed. He was surprised at the intensity of dread he felt at the notion.

He watched the avengers struggle to break the barrier for a few more seconds, before cursing inwardly. Only a magician would be able to rescue the Hulk. Taking a deep breath, he reached for his magic. Unbeknownst to Odin, Loki's powers had grown stronger than when he had left; the amulet didn't limit all his magic completely. However, it was sufficiently powerful enough that trying to use his magic would cause excruciating agony. It couldn't be avoided though- he had to save Dr Banner, and there was only one way to do so. Mentally prepared for the pain, he teleported himself to the hulk's location.

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**Yeah, quite a bit worse than chapter one. Hopefully the third one will be better. I haven't written it yet, so we'll see. Dasividanya!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again! Thankyou so much for reading this story- i can't believe how many follows it's got! I just wanted to mention, if anyone wants to Beta, i ****_beg_**** you to let me know- i'm in desperate need of one. And if anyone wants to comment on and ida they'd like included in the plot, feel free to say that as well. Also, the updates are going to slow down dramatically- i start back at school soon :( Anyway, reviews are always welcome, they make my day :) On with the show!**

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The water should have felt cold- it was the middle of winter. Yet Loki could only feel fire, burning and tearing his insides, melting his bones to lead. Curling up in agony he could barely think, yet alone remember why he had foolishly tried to use magic in the first place. The amulet felt like a sun around his neck, scorching and emitting a brilliant green light. The light caught the darker greens of the Hulks form and Loki reached out instinctively, almost as if he was unaware of what he was doing. The burning desire to save Dr Banner, to _finally _be at peace, stopped him from surrendering to the pain. Fingers clutching at the Hulks body he closed his eyes and pulled them both back to Stark's tower.

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He would have thought it impossible, the way the heat intensified until he was _sure_ he was nothing but ashes, yet it continued. Loki blacked out momentarily from the pain. When he came to it had vanished suddenly, as if a switch had been thrown. The fire just _vanished, _even though it still felt like his skin and bones were just dust particles by now. Reeling from the aftershock, he looked down at the prone form lying beside him. He was fortunate the Hulk had fallen unconscious; he didn't fancy being flung into the floor again.

The Hulk showed no signs of movement, and for a moment panic swarmed Loki's mind. What if he had been too late? He couldn't live with this feeling of not knowing for _ever_, of being a _monster,_ his destiny doomed to be set in stone-The Hulk coughed, and a splurge of water gushed from his mouth. Loki sat back in relief. He was alive then.

Growing more confident that the Hulk wasn't about to wake up and thrash the living daylights out of him, Loki took a moment to stare at the beast. Even asleep, it looked dangerous, powerful, the hands twitching as if to destroy and kill. Yet Loki had just witnessed him working in a team, saving peoples' lives, doing _good_. A monster doing good. A monster that a few years previously had torn a city apart, ending countless lives. Loki still remembered watching the footage when he'd hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D.

How had he changed? Was it that he had become chained by Dr Banner, until he was just a conveniently strong body to be used at will whilst his mind remained locked away, full of the hate and anger?

Or was it something else? If so, what? What could be so powerful as to deny the laws of the universe itself? Everyone knew what happened to monsters- they were the villains, their only use to prove a hero's strength and bravery. _The price slays the monster. The prince and princess get married. They live happily ever after. _The End. It was just the way all stories went. There was never a happy ending for the monster. It just didn't work. So how had Dr Banner managed it?

He was interrupted from his reverie by the Hulk's body shifting suddenly. It looked almost like an illusion, the way his body shrunk, the way his skin grew lighter and lighter, and the muscles less pronounced. In no time at all, Dr Banner lay before him, all traces of the Hulk gone. Loki wished he could throw off his chains so easily.

Groaning slightly, Bruce opened his eyes, wincing at the light. He froze when he came face to face with Loki's startlingly green eyes, gazing intensely at him. "Dr Banner" he murmured in greeting. He made no reply, eying him warily. Slowly sitting up, his eyes fell on the TV, which was still showing the news broadcast. Currently, the shocked, distraught face of Tony Stark filled the screen, gazing out of the sea as if hoping the Hulk would suddenly emerge.

Bruce looked questioningly at Loki "What happened?" Scowling slightly, Loki replied "Amora escaped, attempting to drown you as she did so. I saved you. You're team probably thinks you're still underwater." Bruce froze, shocked. _Loki _had saved _him?_ "Why? How?" He asked.

Loki sighed irritably "The how isn't important. You're alive-be grateful. As for the why..." He trailed off, looking troubled, and Bruce noticed the stress and tension plaguing his body, visible in the tautness of his shoulders "I have a question, which I want..._need _to be answered. As far as I know, you're the only one who can answer it" He broke off, before staring deep into Bruce's eyes.

It took Bruce's breath away as he saw the sheer _emotion_ in Loki's there- fear, uncertainty, anger and pain. But what intrigued Bruce was how _lost _he looked. It was if he barely knew who he was anymore. The proud, haughty God they had fought desperately against in New York looked terrifyingly unsure of himself. It made Bruce wonder what else he felt, hidden so expertly that no one bothered looking for it.

He focused again as Loki sighed in frustration, pulling at his hair. It was almost as if he didn't know what to ask, or was afraid of the answer. Taking a shuddering breath, Loki closed his eyes and hesitantly whispered

"_What is a monster?"_

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**Sorry for leaving it on a cliff hanger...please don't hate me. It's only because i haven't written the next part yet and i'm still thinking of Bruce's reply.** **Sorry again... (Hides in a rabbit hole)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again you amazing people! Sorry to tell you that this story probably won't be updated for a while- i go back to school tommorow (NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D'8 ) However, i definately will finish it. On with the show!**

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Bruce paused, taken aback. At first, it seemed like the answer was so obvious that he wanted to laugh- a monster was an imaginary creature that frightened young children. Why had Loki gone to such lengths just to ask him that?

However, the more he thought about it, he realised that it wasn't the case at all. He looked at Loki who still sat with his eyes closed. Bruce had a suspicion he knew why he'd asked, and it made him consider what he knew about the God- on one hand he was a twisted, evil being who laughed as he caused chaos and slaughtered hundreds.

On the other hand, according to Thor he'd been a loving, caring boy, enduring centuries of being misunderstood and ignored, and eventually braking when he learned he was the son of the leader of Asguard's enemies. If that were true, where did it leave them all?

It was preferable to think of him as the former. considering he had feelings other than anger, hate and a spite was disturbing- it made it that much harder to pretend that he was just a person they needed to defeat, a prisoner, who didn't have a past, had no concept of love or mercy and magically grew up evil.

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Belatedly, Bruce realised he had yet to answer the question. Sighing, Bruce replied "I guess... a monster is a person- or being- that commits atrocities and has no remorse for his actions or pity for his victims."

Loki opened his eyes and stared fixedly at Bruce "Do you believe yourself to be a monster?" he asked, his voice horse. Bruce considered the question "...yes" he whispered. "Yet you feel regret at your actions? Why? Why do you try and help people if you consider yourself that way?" Bruce froze at the level of desperation in Loki's voice.

"I guess because... I care. I didn't want to be a monster. I didn't want to hurt those people, but I couldn't stop it. But now I have a choice, and helping people now makes me feel less monstrous. I can't help being a monster, nor can I bring back the people I killed, no matter how hard I try. But choosing to be with the Avengers is just my way of trying to make up for it. And, well... it's nice to have friends who accept who I am. Normally, the whole world wants my disappearance" Loki's eyes had widened slightly; he looked stunned, as if a light had just switched on in his head. "...there's a difference?" he murmured quietly to himself. Bruce frowned, puzzled.

"You know, I used to consider the 'other guy' as separate from me; a completely different person. But he's not-he _is _me. I'm responsible for his actions, just as he's responsible for mine. As soon as I realised that it became a lot easier to understand him and communicate with him, so eventually it became easier for him to understand me"

Bruce wondered why he was telling this to Loki. Hell, he wondered why he was even talking to the guy...but he hadn't seemed as, well, insane as usual. And he had saved his life... his musings were interrupted by the door slamming open (causing Loki to shoot up into the air) and the rest of his team spilling into the room. Tony's face broke into a relieved grin at the sight of him.

"Thank God you're alright! We all saw you go under the water, and there was no sign of you for at least ten minutes- we all thought you'd drowned! Then JARVIS said you were back here..." He broke off, enveloping Bruce in a bone crushing hug. He mumbled quietly into his shoulder "Don't ever do that to me again." Bruce rubbed his back awkwardly, his eyes following Loki as he quietly slipped out the room.

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**Sooo...thoughts? By the way i slipped song lyrics into this chapter. To those who get the band and the lyrics... You people are genii. You deserve medals. And you are a hard core naughties rock fans (hint hint) Anyway, thats all for now. toodle-oo!**


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